Teen angst, plus a real teen

I have a love-hate relationship with syndication. On the one hand, common newspaper columns and TV shows provide even faraway people with something to discuss over a virtual water cooler. On the other hand, it is killing commercial radio, leaving hordes of on-air talent to scavenge for voiceover work as the content increasingly originates from stations in other cities.

When John Hughes died suddenly last week, it seemed most news outlets carried their own tributes, which seems only fair. The sheer diversity of our country’s media critics — ordinarily a good thing — also revealed some problems in columns that rehashed the same IMDB factoids or were just plain boring. Roger Ebert’s writing is syndicated to over 200 newspapers in the country. A.O. Scott writes for the New York Times and is well-spread in his own right. Both writers excel because their work and wordplay is simply fun to read, even if one has no intention of seeing a particular film or talking about a certain director. Both wrote well crafted Hughes tributes, though Scott touchingly proved that he “got it,” and reminded us that some people just don’t.

None of that matters now. The most important tribute to date came from way outside the media system, which makes me wonder what kind of future media, information and entertainment have. This is the only John Hughes tribute you need to read. Its facts did not come from a hasty IMDB search, they came from someone who knew him. It is just as well written as what came from the big hitters. It should have appeared in every newspaper in the country.

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Silence is not always golden

Thank you to New York Times columnist Charles M. Blow for his piece on the self-destruction of the record industry. It’s quite possibly one of the most truthful assessments to come out. It’s fairly well thought-out, and simply put, although he gets one thing wrong and skips one important point.

We Owe You, California

The worst has come to pass. We voted down everything. Our state began issuing promissory notes yesterday. Those who don’t think very hard about it blame “the legislators.” Really, though, it’s everyone’s fault, the state legislature, the governor and their constituents — us.

I say we call a legislative convention. Here’s how my fantasy works:

(Quietly, no publicity)
1. Redraw the state’s legislative districts into 40 and 20 districts equal by population, no funny shapes except as dictated by topography.

2. Repeal the 1933 two-thirds rule for passing state budgets, and the language from Propositions 13 and 98, all of which strangle our ability to make revenues balance out costs.

(As much publicity as possible now)
3. Either a cage match or a battle royal between legislators. The order of entrance to the ring would be determined either by random number generator or by drawing straws. The last person standing gets to be the Governor. This is to be broadcast on California’s PBS affiliates.

4. Have a statewide election for the new districts.

If only.

Have a happy Independence Day weekend, everyone!

Movin’ on up

In my old neighborhood, I used to have to watch my step or risk stepping on one of the used hypodermic needles found next to the high school or one of the used condoms on Broadway, usually closer to Myrtle. I went on a walk the other morning near my parents’ house and spotted this.

Your Legislative Anal-ist: Special Election Endorsements

Californians: We have an election coming up in one week. Don’t know much about what’s up for grabs? Then grab a cup of coffee, settle in and relax, for I have read the fine print for you. Have extra information? Comment here or send it to theyellowmenace1@gmail.com. These opinions are subject to change, pending the discovery of heretofore unforeseen facts or mood swings.

What do you think I should think?

Not too long ago, one of my friends was complaining to me about how a lot of his friends are constantly asking him what he thinks.

“What do you think of this sweater?”

“What do you think of my new boyfriend?”

“What do you think of the restraining order?”

He and I can talk about such things because he knows I often don’t care what he thinks. In fact, we disagree pretty often. Last year, he told me he was planning on moving to Paris and then maybe going for another graduate degree after that. I told him I didn’t think he’d actually do it and he told me to shut up.

The next time he called me on the phone, I said, “Ooh, are you at the airport? What’s the weather like? God, you’re up early!”

I did this for about six months and, since then, he hasn’t mentioned anything requiring a passport, much less Europe.

What can Brown do for you?

If you read the top story from today’s L.A. Times, you might have seen some unlikely news about Prop. 8: Calif. State Attorney General Jerry Brown has filed a 111-page brief asking the State Supreme Court to discard it altogether.

From the article:

“The attorney general has a legal duty to uphold the state’s laws as long as there are reasonable grounds to do so. Last month, Brown said he planned to ‘defend the proposition as enacted by the people of California.

But in his filing, Brown, who personally supports same-sex marriage, offered a novel legal theory to back his argument that the measure should be invalidated.”

That argument states that you can’t use the amendment process to take away rights without a good legal reason.

O RLY?

This is the same Jerry Brown who asked appellate courts to apply a new, fourth requirement when considering people for equal protection under the law: they cannot be able to normally access the legal process. You know, because gay people, dual-income, no kids (DINKs) — they can buy their rights, can’t they?

Remember, Brown also said that Prop. 8 was not a constitutional revision, though that could be just as well, because that could have proven to be a difficult fight, given that California has several precedents of sweeping constitutional changes approved as amendments.

Maybe we should ask Whitewater prosecutor Kenneth W. Starr, who will testify sometime this year on behalf of Protect Marriage, an anti-same-sex marriage group. And while we’re at it, we can ask him where his sister Brenda went.

Sí se puede

In an odd twist, one could immediately recognize the faces of two kinds of New Yorkers on Wednesday morning — homosexuals and registered Republicans — as the ones not beaming on their way to work.

Stupid phones

An alarming analysis surfaced last week involving the price of sending text mssages between mobile phones. Prices have more than doubled since last year and no link has been found to rising costs for phone service providers. About 8 years ago, mobile phone companies began charging customers to receive text messages where before, incoming messages and the first minute of incoming calls had been free. At that point, plans were available in 100, 250, 500 and 1,000 message increments. Now, for my provider, one can choose 200 messages, 400 with 1 megabyte of data transfer for the Web, 1,500 messages, or unlimited. Each of these plans is more expensive than what was previously available, and there’s nothing in between 400 and 1,500.

Unfortunate episode in Murray Hill

It’s 1 a.m. on July 24, 2008. Two friends sit in the tony lobby at a Hill hotel. They exchange a few fleeting pecks. Heads are put on the others’ shoulders, hands are held. It’s all so cute, isn’t it?