Unfortunate episode in Murray Hill

It’s 1 a.m. on July 24, 2008. Two friends sit in the tony lobby at a Hill hotel. They exchange a few fleeting pecks. Heads are put on the others’ shoulders, hands are held. It’s all so cute, isn’t it?

That was until a security guard in a suit stepped in, vaguely resembling a younger, humorless Garrett Morris in large, gold wire-rimmed glasses. He was later identified to me as Mr. Xxxxxxx.

“You can’t do that here,” he said.

“We weren’t doing anything, we were holding hands,” I responded, already growing indignant because I knew where this was going.

“You can’t hold hands here. This is a hotel lobby.”

A brief and uncomfortable but not uncivil exchange followed. Mr. Xxxxxxx said we were in a “compromising position” and that he can’t have us “doing anything that would make people uncomfortable.” Suffice it to say that feet were on the floor, knees were below the waist, tongues were never brought out and nobody’s reputation was at stake.

“You can sit and talk,” he said, “but you can’t hold hands.”

That was when my friend, a guest of the hotel, asked to speak with a manager and was told, “Go ahead.”

The manager on duty, who looked somewhat like a Spanish Charles Bronson, heard my friend’s complaint. Mr. Xxxxxxx interjected his concerns as though he thought nothing was wrong, except something was very wrong: A guest in the hotel and a New York City resident were made, by a representative of the hospitality industry and of Affinia hotels, to feel unsafe and unwelcome.

Sensing that this could devolve into Mr. Xxxxxxx’s word against ours, the manager suddenly grew very curt. He said he’d watch the tape, encouraged by Mr. Xxxxxxx, to make sure that nothing “obscene” had taken place.

“As long as nothing obscene is going on,” he said, “You can do whatever you want,” but the damage was already done. He asked if my friend’s father was in the room, as though he were going to rat on us like teenagers violating curfew, except we’re not teenagers: We’re adults in our late twenties who know how to behave in public.

Go ahead and check the tape. I’m the one in the baseball cap.

My friend and his father, under whose name the room was booked, filed a complaint later that morning before checking out. They met with general manager Xxxxx Xxxxx, who assured them that Affinia regularly hosts events for the LGBT community, that this is not the hotel’s policy and that nobody on staff has the right to tell guests how to behave, regardless of their perceived gender or sexuality. He also said he would talk to Mr. Xxxxxxx, the manager of security, and the evening’s on-duty manager. He even went as far as to offer a free stay as a token of his apology.

What should happen then, if my friend stays at the hotel and gets harassed again by Mr. Xxxxxxx? What will prevent any of the hotel’s or its corporate group’s guests from being made to feel unsafe and unwelcome?

I am not necessarily asking for Mr. Xxxxxxx’s termination. I am not out for blood.

I would merely appreciate the opportunity to meet with you and speak about this experience and these larger issues. I will be in Manhattan tomorrow and may or not be working until 6 p.m. Please feel free to contact me at XXX.XXX.XXXX so we may find a convenient time to meet.

Sincerely,
The Yellow Menace